Musings of an Offbeat Biped

I received the visa packet along with my visa two days after the issuance date. It arrived at 10:10 am so I rushed to my laptop and showed my darling fiancé how I ripped it apart. That adhesive was sticky!

The warning note was face down when I tore the plastic open. DOH!

The visa packet, visa, warning note, CFO sticker and savagely torn plastic.

CFO guide

The visa packet a.k.a “I wanna peek inside the damn thing now!”

Be sure to handle it carefully so as not to tarnish the packet or else you won’t be allowed to enplane on your departure day.

An Abridged Account of my Fiancée Visa Process - Interview

Days prior to the interview, an application fee of $350 should be paid for at any BDO branch. You will be given two receipts; blue receipt for the Embassy and the white one for you to keep.

NOTE: Bring one copy of DS 156 and one copy of DS 157 plus the email confirmation letter. Nothing will be stamped on the papers but the teller may want to check the papers. Some branches don’t require the papers but it’s best to be ready. I was asked for the email confirmation letter.

Interview Day

Be at the Embassy grounds at least one hour before your appointment. Don’t bother using pesky folders since you already have a file with the Embassy. I suggest using an expanding envelope since it files the documents and thus makes it accessible. I have listed a way of arranging documents for the interview day. Attach your I.D. photos on the DS156 forms.

DS Forms (Duly accomplished forms will be submitted to the cubicle right next to the entrance of the Non-Immigrant section.)

*I sorted them into two sets and used paper clips to bind them

DS 157

DS 156K

DS 156

DS 157

DS 156

+email confirmation letter

Certificates (You’ll submit these papers to the prescreener)

CENOMAR

NSO Birth Certificate

NBI Clearance

Proof of Existing Relationship (You’ll submit these papers to the prescreener)

fiancé’s updated Letter of Intent

chat logs

Skype call logs

emails

snail mails

petitioner’s cellphone logs

photos (10 pieces will suffice)

Evidence of Support

I-134

Letter of Employment

one year of W2s

one year of Income Tax Returns

pay stubs/pay checks

NOTE: You can provide supplementary evidence such as bank statements, receipts of leases, investments, etc.)

If you pass the interview then congratulations! However, if you lack a certain document, you will receive a 221g form like I did. Submit the evidence as soon as possible and check on your case status once a week. You can contact the Embassy regarding Non-Immigrant concerns at 3012000 press 7 then 5184 or 5185.

Remember, the approval will be based on the preponderance of evidence you submit.

An Abridged Account of my Fiancée Visa Process - Medical

The K-1 process takes an average of six months to complete wherein majority of the wait is attributed to the issuance of the NOA2. In my case, the NOA2 took less than two months for my fiancé to receive it. I have provided a timeline of our journey as reference.

Jordan’s half (These were all processed in the States.)

02-10-10: Sent in the I-129F via USPS
02-12-10: I-129F arrived at CSC
02-16-10: Received the return receipt, check cashed & NOA1 issued
02-20-10: NOA1 hard copy received
04-05-10: Received text and email confirmation. NOA2 issued
04-09-10: NOA2 hard copy received
04-16-10: NVC received the petition and sent to the Embassy

My half (Procedures done in the Philippines.)
04-26-10: Embassy letter received
06-09 & 11-10: Medical at SLMEC - PASSED!
07-01-10: Interview - BLUE
07-06-10: Submitted additional evidence of current sustained income (paychecks)
07-13-10: Visa Approved!
07-19-10: Visa Issued!
07-21-10: Visa Received

NOTE: Upon receiving the Manila Case Number, a couple is free to schedule an interview with the Visa Information Services. Both parties will be notified through mail. Once an interview date is set, the beneficiary will receive two email verifications from the Visa Information Services. From there, s/he can undergo the mandatory medical exam at St.Lukes Medical Extension Clinic located in Manila.

SLMEC Requirements

-3pcs 2x2 I.D. photos with a white background

-valid Philippine passport

-Letter from the Embassy with 1 photocopy or a print out of the email confirmation letter (If you decide to choose the latter, remember your MNL Case Number.)

-black ballpen

The medical is a two day process so I suggest to bring a book to pass the time. Bring a jacket if you’re susceptible to chills. Wear comfortable clothing that’s easy to remove because it’s going to be a long day and there will be a physical exam.

Procedures on Day 1

Present your passport, letter and I.D. photos to the guard at the entrance. You will be given a Patient Data Sheet and a number. Once your number is called, line up and submit your I.D. photos and PDS form. You will be asked a few questions at this point. It’s pertinent that you take note of the first and last day of your menstrual period since you’ll have to repeat that information at several stations. Quite monotonous, I know. You will be guided step by step so don’t worry.

-digital photo will be taken

-proceed to the cashier (pay the Peso equivalent of $213.35)

-blood extraction

-submit yourself to a urinalysis

-chest x-ray

-vital signs (HR&BP)

-eye exam

-physical exam (no IE)

-immunization interview

The waiting period took roughly 7 hours as the combined procedures only lasted an hour so eat a hearty breakfast.

Day 2

Present your receipt to the guard. Immunizations will be given to those who passed the medical. Otherwise, you will be delayed.

-immunization

-releasing of documents

Your passport will be taken from you so take note of your passport number. If you don’t have it, that’s fine since the documents will be forwarded to the Embassy. (I left mine blank and didn’t encounter any hassles at the Embassy.)

March 23 2010

Katy Caterpillar

An egg, burnt toast lathered with a thick lather of jam and a tall glass of milk. That’s what comprises Katy’s daily breakfast. Routinely eating alone since her mother’s death in the previous year, she has adjusted over time. She flips through the pages of the newspaper in search of the obituary section and meticulously folds it back as she finishes her meal. Katy grabs her keys and heads to the hospital where she works as a registered nurse.

The long hours and heavy work load keeps Katy busy 60 hours a week. She normally has weekends to herself and now has an added day of rest due to budget cuts. Hiring fresh nursing graduates allows the public hospitals to save on wages and accommodate more jobs. Hence, Katy’s working hours have been cut down to to M,T,W,F. Bothered by her idle time, she heads to a nearby park in search of a recreational activity. She sits at a nearby bench with an ice cream cone in hand and watches the children in playground. Seeing them play incessantly reverts Katy to her awful childhood.

As a child, she was teased for the large scar on her face which led to the nickname, “Katy Caterpillar”. Not even Katy’s teachers know the story behind the hideous scar on her face. She was known to have a shy disposition and was a good student. All she had was her teddy bear which was a gift for her 9th birthday. What happened to Katy remained a family secret even after her parents’ death. She harbored a deep secret that she only shared with her parents and the police. Katy’s parents were madly in love. Her mother (Sarah) was on frequent trips out of town since she worked as a freelance lawyer while her father (David) stayed at home and managed their cleaning business. At the tender age of 9, Katy’s father began to molest her. It began with him sleeping in her room, touching her as she slept soundly. Due to the absence of his wife, the abuse progressed from touching and fondling to intercourse. David was quick to dispose of the child’s bloody underwear and warned her never to tell anyone of his doing. Katy tearfully agreed and cried herself to sleep as she endured the pain and disgust brought by the molestation. Sarah remained oblivious to the abuse as they all went about their daily routines. This went on till Katy’s 11th birthday.

He zipped up his pants and kissed Katy on the forehead and winked at her as a tear trickled down the child’s face. David heads to his room where Sarah is fast asleep. Katy quickly wraps herself in a blanket as she shivers in fear. Katy hugs her teddy bear as she limps on the way to her parents’ room. She takes her chances as she twists the door knob. Katy creeps her way into the room and touches her mother’s face as she whispers, “Mommy, ouchy…” Sarah wakes up startled and switches on the lamp next to her bed. She jerks into tears at the sight of the blood droplets on the floor and the stain on her daughter’s pajamas. Katy collapses. Her tattered teddy bear falls out of her reach. The toy needed stitches and it was missing a button eye. Sarah grabs Katy so swiftly that she drops the teddy bear. David awakes from the light emanating from Sarah’s lamp.

David goes berserk in search for Katy. He stabs Sarah on the shoulder and attempts to strike her again yet halts as he hears Katy’s footsteps approaching. He turns around and heads towards Katy, aiming at her throat. As he is about to slit her throat, Sarah pounces on David and ruins his aim. The knife deeply gashes Katy’s left cheek. She frantically cries as blood spews from the wound. David slams Sarah to the wall as he grabs Katy and tosses her to the wall. She collapses. He panics seeing her seemingly lifeless body as Sarah lunges at him with a knife. He takes control of the knife and demands Sarah for the keys in exchange for her life. She hands him the keys and he disappears into the night. Police sirens resound around the neighborhood. Katie is found unconscious and bloody as her mother, Sarah suffers from a stab wound and a bruised rib.

Upon waking up, Katy asks for her teddy. The nurse hands Katy the teddy and strokes her hair. Katy smiles. Sarah, the doctor and the investigator enter the room and gather at Katy’s bedside. When asked about the confrontation, she bites her teddy bear and tugs on it’s arm. “Is that why your teddy has so much holes?”, asked the detective. Katy shyly nods and says, “Yes. Teddy takes the pain away.” Sarah’s tears well up upon hearing the child’s answer and holds Katy’s hand.

“He said we were going to play. It felt funny and then daddy hurt me. He said I was a bad girl.”

Sarah falls to her knees and stifles her wailing. The nurse and doctor rush to her side and escort her outside the room. Detective Burgos then asks Katy about the altercation late that evening.

Katy: I went to mommy’s room. There was blood on my pajamas. I just wanted her to know that I didn’t want to play anymore. Mommy hugged me and I felt safe again. Like how I felt before…

Det. Burgos: Like how you felt before he touched you?

Katy: Yes…

Det. Burgos: How did you get that gash on your face?

Katy: Mommy said that we were going away. She was looking for her keys. I lost my teddy so I went back to mommy’s room. I got it and then I heard mommy screaming. I saw daddy hurting her, mommy was bleeding. He cut me. Mommy tried to hold him back but daddy was too strong. I was crying and it got daddy mad. He grabbed my shoulders and then my head started to hurt. I got dizzy and then I went to sleep.

The detective then leaves the room and assures Katy of her safety. Katy looks outside her hospital room window, gazing at the stars and makes a promise to herself. “Daddy took away my sunshine but I won’t be broken.” She then clasps her teddy as her eyelids get heavier and heavier. For the first time in three years, she doesn’t sleep on a wet pillow. The boogieman isn’t coming to get her anymore.

As Katy recuperates, Sarah and Detective Burgos discuss details about changing their identities and going under a protection program. After several scar removal treatments, Katy eventually heals - on the outside. Her mother, Sarah decides to move to Chicago where she knows no one and Katy smoothly adapts to her new environment. She makes friends and enjoys her new found home. Several years after the incident, Katy’s now fresh out of college and Sarah quietly works at a nearby bookstore. The mother and daughter have accepted that all they have are each other. They’re able to smile again. Just as they begin to live life normally, Katy gets a dreaded call. While Sarah was on her way to work, a drunk driver caused a five car pile up in which she collided with. Hers was car #4. It was snowing hard that day and her wheels went out of control. Sarah died instantaneously. Katy goes into a deep depression after her mother’s demise. She turns to her work to keep her mind off of things. Just as she gets deeper into thought, Katy awakes from her daydreaming.

She stands from the bench and throws what’s left of her ice cream cone and heads home. She gets a call from the hospital and is asked to fill in for one of the nurses. Katy quickly accepts and makes her way to work. At the hospital, she enters her assigned room, 175. Lying on the bed is an emaciated elderly man with deep sunken cheeks whose wheezing can be heard from outside the door. She gets the chart and is stoic as it reads, “David Rogers”. She’s in a state of shock as she no longer recognizes the monster she used to call her father. He lays there on his death bed with a terminal disease. He has a week, a month at the most to live for he’s suffering colon cancer. The doctor enters the room to check on the patient and tells Katy to administer morphine to ease his pain. She goes to the pharmacy and returns to David’s bedside with the morphine. He awakes and moans as Katy smiles at him and pockets the morphine. She dips the syringe into a glass of water and gradually injects him with it. She sits there and watches him wince in pain as she eats the untouched jello on David’s hospital tray as she shuts the lights and places the emergency cord on the bed side table out of his reach. She leans towards him and whispers, “goodnight”. David whimpers as his past begins to haunt him.

The next morning, a commotion occurs outside room 175 as a throng of nurses rush to the patient. Katy follows and watches the nurses’ futile attempt of comforting the monster lying on the hospital bed. David looks into Katy’s eyes as he takes a deep breath. That was his last. Time of death, 9:47am. She covers his face with a blanket as the room is cleared. She is finally free to revel in satisfaction. Revenge never tasted as sweet. The child in her rejoices as his lifeless body lays there with no tears shed for him. With nobody to claim the body, David’s remains are buried at a cemetery with the rest of the nameless graves.

Katy goes on her daily routine with a rekindled spirit and a new found freedom. This time around, she skips the obituaries and folds the paper with a sinister grin. In a vast field filled with deafening silence, a monstrous passerby festers six feet under into the soil of the earth. Redemption at last.

March 12 2010

While browsing YouToube for stand up skits, I came across Lizzie the Lezzy. The title roused my curiosity so I watched one of her videos and to my surprise, I liked it. I ended up watching several other videos by her and stifled my giggles the entire time. Enjoy!

March 11 2010

Office Chronicles: Unveiling Personas

DISCLAIMER: This entry is conspicuously inspired by past and present office mates and is not by any means meant to target specific people. I have embellished the characters to my liking for entertainment purposes only.

I currently have five characters that are at the top of my head which have traits peculiar to them. In my future posts, I will devote one entry per character in order for you to get a gist of their personalities. At the end of my storytelling, I shall combine the cast and get it down to the nitty gritty.

List of characters:

Rosetta Usisera - She’s the newbie at the office with no shy bone intact who forces her way into several cliques in the social hierarchy. Her obnoxious attitude towards workmates sparks evident tension that only she cannot see. Having high regard for herself and her dignified title, she inadvertently drives away her peers as they gossip behind her back. The oddball with the out of place comments makes her a hot topic during yosi breaks. She has successfully managed to inherently repel people. Congradufreakinlations!

Suelita Intrimidita- A single and available Anak ng Diyos who takes her work a tad too seriously. Her condescending remarks and gut wrenching sermons gives her the title of “The Office Bisnatch”. Not the favorite person of the subordinates, they hiss at the sight of her and switch on their facades as they interact with their queen. She strolls around the premises in her stilettos with bleeding vampire red lipstick. At lunch time, she dines with her office best friend, a.k.a “The less attractive girl that makes the queen look hot.” Behind the smiles and tough exterior, she harbors a secret that will put her job on the line. Suelita is involved in an extramarital affair with her boss and further complicates the tension in the workplace when Butch Bochog (boss) ends the relationship.

Layla Kikayin - This seemingly conceited 20 something working girl from the province of Lamutakmukhaan slowly crawls her way to the top by means of connections, flirtation and social climbing. Layla’s impressive resume and achievements paves the way for her to land a position in the firm. Upon starting her new life at the office and 3 gained friends later, she earns her ticket in the Mean Girls squad. She fights to hide her real social status from her new office friends as she tries to keep up with their pace.

Oda Chikadora - As the official workplace chismosa, she gathers gossip like it’s her job. Her porcine looks and frumpy clothing often leads her to be overlooked by her peers. Being the amicable wallflower that she is, the female workers confide in her as they perceive her to be their “emotional garbage bin”. The instant attention gives Oda a new found confidence which conceals her many insecurities. This chubby chikadora secretly enjoys being the office confidant for being in the know allows her to stir gossip within the walls of the workplace. Her manipulation incites tension amongst the ladies and as the gossip stirs out of hand, Oda finds herself in the middle of the raucous.

Butch Bochog - The founder and proprietor of the nationally acclaimed firm who came from humble beginnings. Mr.Bochog’s regal looks and charm gets the ladies to swoon at the sight of him. His arranged marriage to the daughter of a wealthy business partner sealed the deal of a company merger. Being the go getter that he is, he successfully lands a deal with a big shot client and seeks the help of the company’s secret weapon, Suelita Intrimidita. After a few months of trouble in paradise and late nights at the office, he engages in an illicit affair with top employee, Suelita Intrimidita.

These office goers unknowingly plunge head first into the gossip stream which spares nobody. As long as the water flows, so does the intrigues. Not even a buoy can save their characters from being bludgeoned by the unrelenting ripples. Remember, the office walls have ears.

March 10 2010

The Human Sardine Conveyor

♫I wake up every evening with a big smile on my face and it never feels out of place. And you’re still probably working at a 9 to 5 pace, I wonder how bad that tastes.♫ -Gives You Hell by All American Rejects

At 6:30 in the morning, the sun beams directly on my face as I hear the yayas chattering in Bisaya outside the window of my bedroom. My futile alarm then goes off as I enter the bathroom. After tidying up and drinking a glass of milk, I skip past the threshold of the door.

33 steps away from my house, you will find a throng of people lining up to hop aboard the Human Sardine Conveyor! It holds 16-19 voyagers (regardless of their hip measurements) including the operator of the contraption. For Php55, you will get to experience a 40 minute ride including a brief lesson on the Phonetic Alphabet (compliments of the driver), eavesdrop on a fellow passenger’s asinine conversation, restricted movement and confined space.

Upon arriving at my stop, I shove my way out of the giant hip compressor and jump on the sidewalk. A sigh of relief ensues as the blood rushes to my mother bearing hips as I regain sensation.

WALK, WALK, WALK, TRIP “OOPS!” WALK SOME MORE. OFFICE!

7:40 - Poker time, lets go Poker, lets go!

9:00 - WORK *whistles

5:00 - Shall we vamos? :)

I arrive at the parking lot with a sea of Sardine Conveyors headed to every direction possible. While waiting for the shuttle to fill up, I take note of the passengers and come up with a practical seat plan.

Let me introduce to you the characters of the Ol’ Mighty Sardine Conveyor! *cheesy 80’s cartoon music plays in the background*

Berta/Berting - S/He treats her/himself to a hamburger or any type of food capable of expelling such a pungent smell that permeates throughout the entire vehicle.

SCENE 1: Berta/Berting unwraps his hamburger and slowly bites into the succulent burger

Now I shall play ala Matt Parkman of Heroes and read their thoughts… *processing*

Driver: “Pambihira naman to, pakagat! Kanina pako bumabyahe eh. Ihinto ko to agad, bulunan ka jan!”

Senior citizen who decided to eat at home instead: “Langhap sarap nga pero di ako nabubusog, sayang ang discount! He! Stop it, wait lang, ano daw?”

Fashionista office girl who splurged on shopping: “Sabi na eh… Kainis! But no, diet na talaga, I’m not jealous. You’re gonna die of a heart attack. But really, mabango ha.” *glances at Berta/Berting* “PAKAGAAAT!”

Kiko/Karla - Soothes him/herself to the tunes of his/her ipod and blasts his/her volume to the unappreciative audience.

SCENE 2: Kiko/Karla chooses his/her favorite eardrum popping music and increases the volume so as to seem cool.

Taray girl beside Kiko/Karla: “OMFG talaga… I don’t even wanna hear that crap. Baduy talaga. *bops head*

Old lady: “Mga kabataan talaga ngayon. Hindi na ba cool ang Pandango sa Ilaw? Puro nalang Satanic music at disco. 1,2,3 abcefg! Naiwanan pa ang D. Sus maryosep!”

Emo kid beside Kiko/Karla: “Bak8 nAmahn ghan0n? Pat-E sa s0undzzz talb0g ako? Parati nahlangz ako nazazapawanhhhz! :( *slashes wrist with a piece of his retro shades*

Snuffalufagus - The weary middle aged man who snores like a bear.

SCENE 3: Mr. Snuffalufagus checks the time on his watch and dozes off as gust of air from the air conditioning touches his face.

Irritable office girl: “tsk! ugh! tsk! ugh! tsk! ugh ugh ugh! talaga!!!”

Lady in a daze: “If only I had a better job…”

Man beside Snuffalufagus: “Laki siguro ng tonsils nito!”

So if I were to arrange them accordingly, I would place Snuffalufagus next to Kiko/Karla who can mask the snoring with his/her “I’m so cool, I listen to rock!” music. No matter where I place Berta/Berting, the smell of her/his food will still overpower the cheap air freshener. The rest of us have no choice but to feign our disinterest.

I can’t limit the characters of this magical shuttle since I encounter different types of commuters every single day. Berta/Berting,Kiko/Karla and Snuffalufagus are examples of the few which have stood out in my daily voyages aboard the tin can on wheels. By means of observation, irritability and an overactive imagination, something ordinary such as commuting can be pleasurable to those who try. Don’t you ever wonder what goes on in the inner workings of another human being’s thoughts? The next time you use public transport, play with your thoughts and tickle your imagination. You might just meet Berta, Kiko, Snuffalufagus or maybe even add a new character to this diverse cluster.